PERSONAL BLOG 03

 

Personal Blog 03

The Good

Hello everyone!

It's another day over here on the big planet, and it seems to me a good one! A little rainy outside, but it's cleared up, and the sky seems calmer after letting all that water out. Good for her!

I am officially back in the restaurant business! I'm currently working as a host, and let me tell you- I missed it! Which is surprising, considering the fact that I thought I hated it. Thing is though, interactions with people just put a smile on my face. All it takes is a good, hearty "Hello!" with a smile, and it's enough to warrant the same from a complete stranger. It makes me feel good, when I get visible reassurance that someone else is, at the very least, smiling. 

I've heard somewhere that smiling, even pretending too, has some psycho-somatic effect on how you feel pleasure in the brain- that smiling has some connection to some neurotransmitters firing, or something like that. Man, I wish I was a doctor! But i'm not, so sorry for the half-baked information. My point with all this- smiling is good! It's something I take for granted but hearing that it has some basis in science helps me to believe in it even more.

Also, my cat is the cutest. Can I put an image on this....

omg! Wide hector!

The Bad

As i'm getting older, i'm realizing many things. First of all, I realize that everything is only what I make of it- I have the final say for how this life of mine looks to me, in spite of everything else. It's comforting at times, and helps me feel like I have real faculty over the world I live in. However, other times, it really feels like a lot of responsibility.  It means that whenever I am not operating to my liking, or whenever things seem bleak, it means that I am at fault, and my worldview needs tweaking. It can be exhausting sometimes, and somewhat contradicting. I adopted this philosophy because it really helps me to feel empowered, but I believe that overgeneralization can lead it to be an obstacle for me at times- if that makes sense.

That being said, working as a Host has helped me to realize something. I'll start by saying that ya boi is actually SUCH a good employee it would SHOCK YOU. I zip around, cleaning and chattin and doing who knows what else. Part of why I like to work like that is because I appear efficient, and take pride in the work I am able to accomplish that way. However, I've come to another realization. I think there is an astounding amount of anxiety cooped up in my mind, body, and spirit. The "need for speed" as I coined it for myself has gotten me in situations before where I feel quite overwhelmed with all the information that I'm being faced with. I like to move quickly, talk quickly, always moving from one task to another- and when I'm not, i'm listless, waiting to jump on the next opportunity to just do something. I talked about this a tad in my last entry.

I've attributed my behavior to many things in the past, but this is the first time I'm thinking that it may have something to do with me feeling nervous, feeling an impending sensation of "oh no" that I must avoid at all cost. That fear leads me to move like i'm running for my life, and leads to experiences much like one I experience only yesterday. In my work, I was moving food from one place to another, and in doing so, nearly completely messed up the way it was assembled. I did that nearly twice, when one of my genuinely wonderful coworkers mentioned to me- "it's called slowing down". I've heard that so many times in my life, it ought to be tattooed on me somewhere. I usually disregard those messages but this time, it's been bouncing around my noggin. Maybe I should just slow down. Whenever I take those deep breathing exercises and center myself, I notice, "wow, I was really quite agitated". I'm begging to believe in the fact that that energy gets pent up not only in my thought, but in my body, in the way I move, breathe, and behave. I'm not quite sure where to go from here, but I'm happy to be aware of this possibility. I can adapt, if I know what's going on! I'll do my best to take things a little slower, and maybe in doing so, life might feel a little more steady.

The Funny

Guys I heard the funniest freaking jokes of all time yesterday please take the time to read these they are so good.

What do you call a hippies wife?

MISSISSIPPI

okay okay now number two

Why did Jesus like to go to Japanese restaurants?

Because he LOVES MI-SO !!!

I love that second one- miso! So good. Anyway that's it, keep it classy you crazy people you.